Borrowing from cheap horror movie plot devices, I made my way back home to a quiet reception of a still sleeping dog and nothing else.

Reflecting on the journey back I consider the bureaucracy of the afterlife.

"No god, no heaven, no hell," I say to the snoring pup, her black face now speckled with gray hairs...

"It's just a bunch of lines and paperwork, and meaningless hoops," the dog's fart seems to concur.

"I'd suspect more people would be back if you didn't have to jump that shark just to get to the office where you sell yourself out.."
I light two cigarettes and pour two cups of coffee that sat stale in the pot and completely devour all four in an impressive display of gluttony.

"I should do something funny soon"