I guess I never really knew what a gambling addiction was like until I found myself in a Canadian casino betting money on a mechanical horse race.
The Sega made horse race machine consisted of 6 mechanical horses ridden by six mechanical jockeys. Me, a buddy we'll reffer to as "some jew," and about thirty other overwheight underpaid, under sexed, over enthused addicts sat in our respective booths staring down at a ten foot by ten foot race track.
"WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THIS?!!," I screamed in capitol letters with exclamation points.
Candians don't make dollar bills, so I shook a handful of change over my beat red face as I pointed down at horse number 9, named, "guaranteed to win."
"Guaranteed My Ass," I said Slightly more calmly, allowing some lower case letters to slip in.
"would you like a drink sir?," The drink guy said in his most non invasive Canadian accent.
"SCOTCH!!," and back came the caps.
"we, don't.. no alcohol sir. and we'd appreciate it if you didn't smoke in here, because.." he breathed as he phrased the rest of his statement as a question,"there is no smoking in this casino."
I thought about whipping my cock out, or at least circling in on some nearby retard, but I managed to calm myself.
"ok dave?"
"my name's Rafael" He corrected politely
"dave, I'm gonna need you to come back around later when you're a woman, like you're supposed to be.."
I breathed deeply and continued..
"and GOD DAMNIT BRING A REAL CASINO WHEN YOU GET HERE!?!?" I scratched my head for a moment, wondering what the question marks were for, and how a place without real poker(Texas Holdem"), smoking, alcohol, or cheap whores could call itself a "casino."
Dave seemed pretty upset, but in true canadian fashion, he smiled politely as I broke a mug of decaffeinated coffee accross his nose.
"Some Jew," tried to grab me by the arm as I went to punch Dave in the mouth..
"You'll Drop Your Cigarette," He warned a moment too late
My hand flying out of control, "GOD," connecting with Dave's face full force, "DAMNIT." I screamed as an explosion of redsparks and ashes flew up and around. My beloved tar and nicoteine, waving goodby as it fell to the ground.
I think I may have seen some tears for a moment, but "Some Jew," lit me another cigarette, and I wiped my face.
We walked slowly out of the casino, taking turns dropping dollar coins into the slots.
"you know," he said to me, "they say freak outs, beat ups, and nakedness are just a cheaters way out of writing a story"
"well they're right," I replied, "they are right"
The Sega made horse race machine consisted of 6 mechanical horses ridden by six mechanical jockeys. Me, a buddy we'll reffer to as "some jew," and about thirty other overwheight underpaid, under sexed, over enthused addicts sat in our respective booths staring down at a ten foot by ten foot race track.
"WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THIS?!!," I screamed in capitol letters with exclamation points.
Candians don't make dollar bills, so I shook a handful of change over my beat red face as I pointed down at horse number 9, named, "guaranteed to win."
"Guaranteed My Ass," I said Slightly more calmly, allowing some lower case letters to slip in.
"would you like a drink sir?," The drink guy said in his most non invasive Canadian accent.
"SCOTCH!!," and back came the caps.
"we, don't.. no alcohol sir. and we'd appreciate it if you didn't smoke in here, because.." he breathed as he phrased the rest of his statement as a question,"there is no smoking in this casino."
I thought about whipping my cock out, or at least circling in on some nearby retard, but I managed to calm myself.
"ok dave?"
"my name's Rafael" He corrected politely
"dave, I'm gonna need you to come back around later when you're a woman, like you're supposed to be.."
I breathed deeply and continued..
"and GOD DAMNIT BRING A REAL CASINO WHEN YOU GET HERE!?!?" I scratched my head for a moment, wondering what the question marks were for, and how a place without real poker(Texas Holdem"), smoking, alcohol, or cheap whores could call itself a "casino."
Dave seemed pretty upset, but in true canadian fashion, he smiled politely as I broke a mug of decaffeinated coffee accross his nose.
"Some Jew," tried to grab me by the arm as I went to punch Dave in the mouth..
"You'll Drop Your Cigarette," He warned a moment too late
My hand flying out of control, "GOD," connecting with Dave's face full force, "DAMNIT." I screamed as an explosion of redsparks and ashes flew up and around. My beloved tar and nicoteine, waving goodby as it fell to the ground.
I think I may have seen some tears for a moment, but "Some Jew," lit me another cigarette, and I wiped my face.
We walked slowly out of the casino, taking turns dropping dollar coins into the slots.
"you know," he said to me, "they say freak outs, beat ups, and nakedness are just a cheaters way out of writing a story"
"well they're right," I replied, "they are right"
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